Ever off-loaded your situation to someone, only to find everyone now knows your business? It’s not a nice feeling. When we trust someone, open up to them and allow them to see our vulnerabilities, we don’t want it passed around. When that happens, it can break down relationships because we stop trusting and decide not to confide in that person again. Opening up to other people is always going to be a risk, but it’s something we should be doing. We need each other for support, advice and encouragement. So we need to make sure we’re thinking carefully about who we’re choosing to confide in. The Bible says: ‘Those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.’ It also says: ‘A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much’ (Proverbs 20:19 NIV). We need to be on the lookout for trustworthy people who can keep what we tell them to themselves rather than telling others and spreading gossip. We also need to confide in people who we know will seek God on our behalf and who will give us wise, godly advice. In James 3 it says: ‘Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterised by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced’ (v.17 MSG). Not only should we be finding people like this to confide in, we should also focus on making sure that we’re people like this. People who are trustworthy and will respond to others in a gentle and godly way. So when others have a problem, they will know that they confide in us.
