When someone hurts you, you have three options: 1) hurt them back; 2) avoid them altogether; 3) pray for them and look for ways to bless them. (Take a look at Matthew 5:44-45 to see what Jesus thought.) Paul said: ‘as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people’ (Galatians 6:10 NIV). We get so caught up with how others have treated us that we sometimes forget about how we treat them. We’re afraid of being taken advantage of, especially if our past experience with someone has been painful. Not only do fear and dread make us super-sensitive to everything they say and do, we may misinterpret their motives and see them in a negative light. If someone’s hurt you in the past, it’s easy to get defensive and worried that it’ll happen again. That’s why it’s so important not to think about it at all (see Philippians 3:13 and Isaiah 43:18). Does this mean the person gets away with the way they’ve treated you? No. The Bible says, ‘Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another’ (Romans 14:12-13 NIV). Hand the situation over to God and, importantly, refuse to take it back. Ask Him to show you how you can be helpful and bless the other person. That way, you won’t dwell on the negatives. Plus, it gives God an opportunity to work on them – and you.