No matter how good our relationships with other people are, conflicts can still happen. And when they do, we need to be extending grace and showing forgiveness. We need to be managing conflict well. So how can we do that? Well, we need to be practicing self-control which keeps conflicts from escalating into hurtful standoffs. We also need to learn what to do with hurt feelings like anger and disappointment. Basically, we need to learn how to forgive and forget. The Bible says: ‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbour as yourself’ (Leviticus 19:18 NIVUK). But that’s much easier said than done, especially when we’re battling our emotions. Emotional hurt and tension are almost impossible to forget; the harder we try, the more we remember. We can end up holding grudges, becoming resentful and bringing it up in future conflicts. We may never forget how we’ve been hurt, but we can choose to forgive it and move on. God doesn’t remember our mistakes or hold them against us. The Bible says: ‘I am the One who erases all your sins, for my sake; I will not remember your sins’ (Isaiah 43:25 NCV). So if we’re trying to grow in our character, we need to be aiming to be people who don’t hold things against others, people who forgive and move on. In Ephesians, we’re called to ‘Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ’ (4:32 NCV).
