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If you’re married, think back to when you first met your husband or wife and fell in love. You thought about them day and night. You couldn’t wait to be together; you hung on every word they spoke. The relationship was stimulating and exciting because you engaged each other’s minds, excited each other’s emotions, and ignited each other’s imagination on a wide range of life’s topics. But numerous marriages don’t survive because they die of boredom. One partner gets involved in an affair, or the other becomes addicted to porn or some other deviant behaviour because they’re bored in the relationship. That’s not an excuse for wrongdoing, but boredom functions like low-grade poison; it takes an unavoidable toll on each of you. The secret to a good marriage lies in finding ways to keep improving yourself, then bringing that to the table of your relationship. Learn something new about your spouse’s work, and care about the details of their day. Have a shared dream you’re working towards and talk about it. When you’re engaged in another person’s life, you fortify their desire to share more about their day and themselves. And here is something else to keep in mind: it’s important for you to have a life outside of the person you’re interested in. Partners who want to grow together realise they must encourage each other to nurture friendships, hobbies, and interests independently. Exciting people excite each other! They understand how to develop their own lives without disregarding the shared life they have together. That’s what the Bible means when it says, ‘Always be enraptured with her [or his] love.’

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